Lying can be very hurtful. A lot of people lie, sometimes about things that don’t even seem like they are a big deal. If you find out that someone is lying to you it can cause pain. The key is to determine how much that particular lie, or the combination of lies that have been told, affect your feelings for the person you’re dating. Whether you have met them on a gay phone service or somewhere else, figuring out the next steps is key. Having a conversation with the person you like can also have benefits, and sometimes result in change. Here are a few things to think about if someone you met on phone chat for gay men looking to date has lied to you. These apply regardless of where you met a dating or sex partner:
1. How impactful are the lies: Some lies are different than others. There are people that lie fairly often about what some would call “unimpactful” things. These can include things like spending six months telling someone that you are interested in that you like green beans, just because you know the other person loves green beans and will not cook them if they know you are not a fan. Other lies, have a much larger impact. How lies impact you as a person is also different than how lies impact someone else.
2. Can they change: If you have caught someone that you like in a lie and have determined that it has an impact on your happiness, the next question is if they can change. This involves communication between you and the other person to come up with the answer to three questions.
a. Why they lied
b. Can there be an appropriate compromise or change
c. Do they want to compromise or change
Depending on how they answer these questions, which do not need to be asked directly but just worked into conversation should have a large impact on whether you stay in the relationship and changes are made. Keep in mind sometimes changes need to be made by both people in the relationship. Dating is all about communication, you can communicate with some great gay singles by calling our 30 min trial chat today.
